An engineer, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told him, "You've been a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world and given pleasure to many; therefore, as your reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took him to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. <>The Engineer then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of the woman?"
God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said the engineer, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. Finally, the maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to the engineer, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours!

Young Bruce applied for an engineering position at an Aussie firm based in Perth. A Scotsman applied for the same job; and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.
The manager went to young Bruce and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Scotsman the job."
Young Bruce asked, "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Australia, and me being an Aussie I should get the job!"

The manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the question that you missed."
Young Bruce then asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

The manager replied, "Simple, the Scotsman put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I'. "